Has anyone wondered, what did I say wrong that turned off my friend(s), colleagues and the loved ones? You could have said it verbally, non-verbal or commented in writing and it ends up being ineffective communication. I can relate to the experience.
Through deep reflection of my communication, I have learned how I am an annoyance to friends and colleagues. Yes, I mean my “freedom of speech.” I have completely turned off communication from the recipient’s side. I have found myself at times apologizing for the comments I made. I have received comments like “it’s only you who can say that or just because its you, I don’t mind.” The comments sounds like I have been getting aware with unacceptable language/communication. The Holy Spirit is the only person who can reveal to you as it is hard to be self aware of such.
Everyone is wired with fight or flight mechanism when met with a situation. Our tongue which is the smallest part of the body needs taming because of its annoyance to friends, listeners and colleagues, when left untamed (James 3:18).
Communication is the exchange of information, messages and words. Both parties (sender and receiver) are equally important during the communication process. Sender and receiver can be interchangeable. There are always two sides of the message (positive and negative). The enemy who is the devil uses this tool so much to create discord, enmity and hatred amongst us henceforth we seek to communicate effectively.
Promoting health communication:
Sender:
- Self-talk and sound it to your ears before it’s communicated to the receiver.(Interpersonal communication)
- Evaluate the communication outcome by being on the receiving side and taste how it feels(Do to others as you would want them to do for you)
- Communicate when necessary or when you have something to say, don’t feel obligated to comment for the sake of commenting.
- Don’t judge, underestimate or demean when communicating but always value and respect.
Receiver:
- Seek to understand what, why and how the person is saying this (joke, under pressure or mistake) before turning yourself off or responding with fight mode.
- Try to be always positive as the message might be of good intent than harm.
- Be slow to anger and quick to listen (James 1:19)
- Avoid assumption and speculation
- Gently answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1)
Can we Pause a moment!!! Let’s evaluate the way how we communicate. We are accountable for every word that comes out of our mouth. The word of God (Proverbs 11:17) says “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.” Also Proverbs 15:4 states that “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” You may be in a position of wondering why people are giving you cold shoulder. It’s never too late to invest in good effective communication skills.
MY SONG IN PSALMS 